It happened a couple of weeks back.
The student care teacher told me that Sally hit his classmates in student care, and after it was made clear to him that hitting others was unacceptable, then he turned to hit himself, and threatened to hit the teachers too. And he was clearing up the mess that he made just before I turned up to fetch him, the teacher told him that she will help to clear up, and Sally was free to go as she didn't want me to wait for too long. Sally then thrashed the mess back onto the floor again.
I was really throbbing mad at Sally when we were driving to Ah mah's place.
He knows very well that whatever that he was doing is wrong, and it wasn't the first nor the 2nd time that this happened. He was guilty of such unruly behaviour earlier in the year when he just joined the student care, but it subsequently went away for a few months, before resurfacing again after the long school holiday.
Gave him 4 strokes of the cane for each of the offense that he did.
Made sure that he told me what was right and what was wrong, what he needed to do the next time when bad things happen, and even practiced whatever that he had prescribed for himself, before he received each stroke of the cane.
The caning has to hurt, so that he will remember and not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
However, this only lasted for a short time, before I had to travel again, and he repeated the self-hitting behaviour again while I was away.
Cony was quite depressed that this had to happen over and over. And started questioning herself why Sally just can't behave like any other kids of his age.
Reviewed Sally's case with CK and Jennifer. And through the Angry iceberg experience, Sally learnt to understand that there are lots of reasons beneath anger, and he has learnt to identify those. He was quite to identify other people's emotions, but didn't have the courage to talk about his own emotions. CK explained that his low self esteem and inherent belief that admission of Anger is bad and he wants to avoid that. Sally doesn't want to be seen as angry, as it looked bad on him.
Made sense. And both myself and Cony were willing to give this a try, to help bring Sally out of the thinking that he should never admit anger or emotions. He will need to learn to identify and express his own emotions first, before he can learn to better control them.
Alas, we received the 1st formal warning letter from the student care, that Sally may be expelled if he fails to behave himself properly. This worried Cony and she started to look for alternatives to the student care.
And we were still very worried about Sally's behaviour. Though we had got Dr Z to do a diagnosis on Sally 2 years ago, which returned a negative result for ADHD, it still worries us that the diagnosis may be wrong, and maybe we should seek a second opinion, as Sally's behaviour fits exactly to what was described by the MOH advertisement...
My precious Sally.
Brown and Cony love you, and want you to be healthy and socially well adjusted as you grow up.
You are my precious forever.
The student care teacher told me that Sally hit his classmates in student care, and after it was made clear to him that hitting others was unacceptable, then he turned to hit himself, and threatened to hit the teachers too. And he was clearing up the mess that he made just before I turned up to fetch him, the teacher told him that she will help to clear up, and Sally was free to go as she didn't want me to wait for too long. Sally then thrashed the mess back onto the floor again.
I was really throbbing mad at Sally when we were driving to Ah mah's place.
He knows very well that whatever that he was doing is wrong, and it wasn't the first nor the 2nd time that this happened. He was guilty of such unruly behaviour earlier in the year when he just joined the student care, but it subsequently went away for a few months, before resurfacing again after the long school holiday.
Gave him 4 strokes of the cane for each of the offense that he did.
Made sure that he told me what was right and what was wrong, what he needed to do the next time when bad things happen, and even practiced whatever that he had prescribed for himself, before he received each stroke of the cane.
The caning has to hurt, so that he will remember and not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
However, this only lasted for a short time, before I had to travel again, and he repeated the self-hitting behaviour again while I was away.
Cony was quite depressed that this had to happen over and over. And started questioning herself why Sally just can't behave like any other kids of his age.
Reviewed Sally's case with CK and Jennifer. And through the Angry iceberg experience, Sally learnt to understand that there are lots of reasons beneath anger, and he has learnt to identify those. He was quite to identify other people's emotions, but didn't have the courage to talk about his own emotions. CK explained that his low self esteem and inherent belief that admission of Anger is bad and he wants to avoid that. Sally doesn't want to be seen as angry, as it looked bad on him.
Made sense. And both myself and Cony were willing to give this a try, to help bring Sally out of the thinking that he should never admit anger or emotions. He will need to learn to identify and express his own emotions first, before he can learn to better control them.
Alas, we received the 1st formal warning letter from the student care, that Sally may be expelled if he fails to behave himself properly. This worried Cony and she started to look for alternatives to the student care.
And we were still very worried about Sally's behaviour. Though we had got Dr Z to do a diagnosis on Sally 2 years ago, which returned a negative result for ADHD, it still worries us that the diagnosis may be wrong, and maybe we should seek a second opinion, as Sally's behaviour fits exactly to what was described by the MOH advertisement...
My precious Sally.
Brown and Cony love you, and want you to be healthy and socially well adjusted as you grow up.
You are my precious forever.
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