This is something that I can't talk to my dear about, for the fear of her getting worried and all stressed up.
We had just made a purchase for a new home and another for investment, and which will require both of us to be holding down steady well paying jobs.
I had been in my current job for the last 10 years, which had been mostly smooth sailing, with my pay increasing steadily over the years to a relatively comfortable level.
However, I have a sense of doom looming over my current role now, as the Global Sales President has made his first move of removing the China from my existing portfolio by hiring a new person, which I'm supposed to help to interview
With my new boss that had just came onboard 3 months ago, whom isn't familiar with what I had done and achieved in the past, nor understood the challenges and needs of our region, will not be able to fully appreciate my capabilities or talents, especially when he is a new hire from the Sales President's ex-company.
At the same time, they had brought in another of their ex-staff from the same company for North America, and my replacement for China will be another of their ex-staff, which they had pulled out all stops to hire.
What made it more ominous was that I wasn't consulted or informed on my China replacement until I was asked to interview some candidates, and on further probing with my new boss and the sales president, the sales president just brushed me off, saying "this is your replacement" without any further explanation.
I felt really bad at that point in time.
Maybe it's my performance? Maybe I didn't manage to make a deep enough impact in China?
I chose to look at this the other way, that maybe the company is doing better now and could afford to invest more resources to expand our capacity, as what the China Sales VP had always wanted.
This played on my mind since Feb, that I had to be aware and cautious of the possibility that I may be booted out of the company. Whether be it on performance, or if it's political, there will be a huge price for me to pay at this point if the worst scenario is to play out.
In last week's Global team meeting, the Sales president was sitting in our team meeting, and while my counterparts went on and on about certain issues, my boss walked over to me twice, and whispered to me that he wanted me to speak up more infront of the Sales president. It sent chills down my spine at that point.
Was this a warning that the Sales president had put me on his namelist for clearance?
I have an inkling that the Sales president had a dislike for me over the last few years, and he had never really spoken to me directly in the eye and provided good advice on what can be further improved.
Perhaps this is it. Perhaps this may be the moment that he had been waiting for, to get rid of me so that he can bring his own crew in.
I'm not concerned about ego or anything at this point.
The biggest worry that I have is that if I were to lose my job and income now, it will worry and stress the hell out of dear and it will have a serious impact on our property investment.
Dear had always been skeptical and cautious on making the property investment, and I remember very clearly that her only wish is to have a roof over our heads, and to have enough to provide for our kids. Nothing luxurious or whatsoever.
It is at this very moment that I cast strong doubts and aspersions on myself that what had I done.
The fortune teller had mentioned 10 years ago to me that my life is filled with highs and lows.
大起大落，再起再落
If it were to happen to myself alone then it ain't such a big problem.
The problem is that if I don't do well now, it will affect dear and the kids.
That's by far my biggest worry.
Really feeling uncomfortable and stressed now
Don't have the appetite for food, nor can I find any more pleasure in activities that I used to enjoy.
寡欲不欢
First time in my last 10 years in this job, that I started to actively send resumes out for job applications.
First time I feel that this is a really serious threat..
At the same time, I can't show anything to dear or the family, and have to appear as if everything is as per normal in front of them.
Only Bro and 2 other close colleagues know about this.
Next course of action will be to seek guidance from my current boss on what he wants me to do next.
Perhaps also talk to my ex boss on his opinions as well
More importantly, step up on my job hunt and move on if possible
男人有泪不倾谈
一切忧愁自己扛
危机四伏风云路
转机或许就在灯火阑珊处
We had just made a purchase for a new home and another for investment, and which will require both of us to be holding down steady well paying jobs.
I had been in my current job for the last 10 years, which had been mostly smooth sailing, with my pay increasing steadily over the years to a relatively comfortable level.
However, I have a sense of doom looming over my current role now, as the Global Sales President has made his first move of removing the China from my existing portfolio by hiring a new person, which I'm supposed to help to interview
With my new boss that had just came onboard 3 months ago, whom isn't familiar with what I had done and achieved in the past, nor understood the challenges and needs of our region, will not be able to fully appreciate my capabilities or talents, especially when he is a new hire from the Sales President's ex-company.
At the same time, they had brought in another of their ex-staff from the same company for North America, and my replacement for China will be another of their ex-staff, which they had pulled out all stops to hire.
What made it more ominous was that I wasn't consulted or informed on my China replacement until I was asked to interview some candidates, and on further probing with my new boss and the sales president, the sales president just brushed me off, saying "this is your replacement" without any further explanation.
I felt really bad at that point in time.
Maybe it's my performance? Maybe I didn't manage to make a deep enough impact in China?
I chose to look at this the other way, that maybe the company is doing better now and could afford to invest more resources to expand our capacity, as what the China Sales VP had always wanted.
This played on my mind since Feb, that I had to be aware and cautious of the possibility that I may be booted out of the company. Whether be it on performance, or if it's political, there will be a huge price for me to pay at this point if the worst scenario is to play out.
In last week's Global team meeting, the Sales president was sitting in our team meeting, and while my counterparts went on and on about certain issues, my boss walked over to me twice, and whispered to me that he wanted me to speak up more infront of the Sales president. It sent chills down my spine at that point.
Was this a warning that the Sales president had put me on his namelist for clearance?
I have an inkling that the Sales president had a dislike for me over the last few years, and he had never really spoken to me directly in the eye and provided good advice on what can be further improved.
Perhaps this is it. Perhaps this may be the moment that he had been waiting for, to get rid of me so that he can bring his own crew in.
I'm not concerned about ego or anything at this point.
The biggest worry that I have is that if I were to lose my job and income now, it will worry and stress the hell out of dear and it will have a serious impact on our property investment.
Dear had always been skeptical and cautious on making the property investment, and I remember very clearly that her only wish is to have a roof over our heads, and to have enough to provide for our kids. Nothing luxurious or whatsoever.
It is at this very moment that I cast strong doubts and aspersions on myself that what had I done.
The fortune teller had mentioned 10 years ago to me that my life is filled with highs and lows.
大起大落，再起再落
If it were to happen to myself alone then it ain't such a big problem.
The problem is that if I don't do well now, it will affect dear and the kids.
That's by far my biggest worry.
Really feeling uncomfortable and stressed now
Don't have the appetite for food, nor can I find any more pleasure in activities that I used to enjoy.
寡欲不欢
First time in my last 10 years in this job, that I started to actively send resumes out for job applications.
First time I feel that this is a really serious threat..
At the same time, I can't show anything to dear or the family, and have to appear as if everything is as per normal in front of them.
Only Bro and 2 other close colleagues know about this.
Next course of action will be to seek guidance from my current boss on what he wants me to do next.
Perhaps also talk to my ex boss on his opinions as well
More importantly, step up on my job hunt and move on if possible
男人有泪不倾谈
一切忧愁自己扛
危机四伏风云路
转机或许就在灯火阑珊处
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